"Man was born free, and he is everywhere in chains." - Rousseau

This is the part of the equation that I can never figure out.   There is this lacking, this waiting for something to come to me, out of all my hopes and desires that sense of drive to accomplish,  that motivation that drags you though just isn't there.

I cannot remember the last time I was motivated for more then just a short while.
I cannot remember the last time I felt the drive to do.

I wonder, what is wrong with me?

Am i just a lazy person?
Am i to be like my father?

Struggling to succeed I can cope with, Struggling to keep myself a float is another story.
My struggles are much of my own design, and in that a living force to my own self destruction.

A Snapshot of me:

I'm 24
No degree (but close enough)
No diploma (but again close enough)
A job because I'm a "student" of sorts thats on 4 month contract terms.

No idea what I want, in all the times I convince myself I want something, the question remains then why do i want something completely different days or weeks later?  I am not focused, I do not stick to what I want, or think I want...and I know this.  I recognize it.  I change my mind to often, I dont stick to the plan, so how please tell me how can I fix this?

I feel like I am 2 seperate people, each pulling in different directions, on to do nothing, sit and live with what is there without accomplishing, the other whom wants to accomplish everything and anything, which is in my opinion equally as bad.

I need a way out.
And no I don't mean by death.

I know I have much to live for.  Much to experience, to see and to do.
Yet as if some fear is holding me back I set myself up to fail at each pass.

Does anyone understand?