"Man was born free, and he is everywhere in chains." - Rousseau

I watched the movie 'A little Princess' tonight and it left me with the warm and fuzzy magical feeling, like miracles and dreams to happen...and maybe theirs a little magic out there for everyone. I duno I know I sound corny and silly..maybe even to girlie but at the moment thats exactly how i feel.
Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling really doesnt go astray on me..I need it..More then usual. I'm having so many issues with so many things that I cant even think straight someday..usually there are people I can talk to...sometimes..mostly rusty..but sometimes I feel like i depend on talkin to him to much so i try to cut it out...sometimes I cant..cause it feels like he's the only one who really understands. everyone else goes through the motions with me...says they know that they understand..that they wish they could help..sometimes they offer their 2 ssences..but usually only rusty actually listens to everything..then kinda gives me advice of whatever..something tangible that i can a least think about. My minds been in over drive lately. I know that people try and that i have lots of people who "love me" but i dunno, somedays I have this feeling of being so alone, that nothing can touch me...that no magic is left for my life. Rational thought would tell me different, but have I ever really been rational? nope. not a chance of that. god knows i try sometimes tho. Very few people know i write here at all..so i feel kinda safe saying exactly what it is that i have to..or want to to feel better. I know that the internet is a huge world full of BS and half truths but some of the best people in my life have come from here. And no I'm not a pathetic person who's social life is found online. I've got friends..i party..i hang out..i go to school ..i listen to music, watch tv..enjoy life just like anyone else. But when it comes down to it..the most important people in my life ..live on different continents or at least different countries. Mel lives here, she's close like Rusty and Andie, but its different to. She doesnt judge, either...but she has a bigger basis to say something then anyone else. She's good as gold and that I will love forever about her. My focus is kinda off..I wanna travel to get away, I wanna go to places where I can sometimes see those other people in my life..and some places to just get away from everything and everyone that knows me. But if I did that I just might fall apart with my mind running away with me. Who knows...Life's defiently something I've yet to really understand. But maybe it will happen someday...older and wiser is what everyone says...