"Man was born free, and he is everywhere in chains." - Rousseau

Seems I've been doing a lotta thinking these last few days about what i want, and what i dont. and where I wanna be, and with whom. Not that the whom is something i can factor in..since thats kinda half up to someone else. However, that doesnt stop me from thinking about it. I had the option to get out and date someone...and for once the guys not a jerk..but i couldnt bring myself too cause i would only be dating him for the wrong reasons. Its really strange for me to care about the other "someone" so much...kinda quickly..so its being good at making me nervous. I havnt got any balls to say what i need to, but he is so oblivious and he knows its..its almost onpurpose. its different to know someone whos so "real" without being here. At least thinking about it, made me realize what i want, now my problem is telling him, cause I'm not really sure exactly how things will go, or if they will work, but i feel like I'm in the position to at least try. The distance would be something thats gonna change regardless, because the visit/move was gonna take place anyways, it was just a matter of when. time is always something people can work on, and money well thats what working is for..so save to do the things that we want, so really it doesnt seem that hard to achieve. If you really want something..you have to try, and take risks to get it...so why not?..Its defiently something I never thought I'd feel like, but now that i do, I'm certianly not going to change it for anything. I'm happy with it, and if it works great, but for now its a matter of saying it, and since i'm somewhere between shy and crazy I dunno how it will come out, maybe he'll get it from this but who knows...I'm a confusing little brat..hehehe but oh well.he understands that, but would he accept what i', feeling...maybe..would he want a part of it. nan